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To be honest, I panic a bit right before I have to pronounce Worcestershire sauce.
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
Drive-Thru Workers: The longer you make me wait in line, the more change will be used for my payment...
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.