Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
The last time I got drunk I married Satan..I`m not doing either one again
I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I`m gone.
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
My problem is that all food is comfort food
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.