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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
Diet plan: make friends fatter
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Even atheists make bargains with God when the toilet water threatens to overflow at a friend`s house.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
I don’t drink to forget, I… what was I saying?
Microsoft Excel has got to be the worlds worst video game.