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Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
Ladies: Sometimes you just need to throw your arms up in the air and say, "Tie me up"
I donβt always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
Life is like βFacebookβ β People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
Have you ever wondered about the look on someone`s face if you hide under their bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to think about.....goodnight!
A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you βIβm drunkβ is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying βIβm deliciousβ