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I have been tagged and poked so many times today, I may not be able to walk tomorrow.
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop?
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.