Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
If the conversation gets too serious and uncomfortable, take your pants off.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
I went to my local shop for a paper the other day. A guy out of no where started to throw eggs, cream and milk at me. I thought to myself how dairy?
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
CPR is the human version of blowing in to a video game cartridge hoping it`ll work again.
Afraid my muffin top is desiring to become a pound cake.