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You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
A party without Vodka is just a meeting.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Has anybody seen my keys? they`re awesome.
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.