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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
I’m supporting our troops today by going commando.
The police never think its as funny as you do.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
Your things are terrific.
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?