Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
Breaking News: I took a bath today
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
When a girl tells you that she just had her period, you are officially in the friendzone.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with it´s own shot glass