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If your Facebook post requires me to hit “continue…” get a diary.
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
I don`t like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
What’s the answer to this question?
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.