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Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
Some days should come with a warning label: This day is going to suck, bring alcohol.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.