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Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn`t punch them in the head as soon as they got here.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
The guest of honour was a bit subdued. The Keyboardist was playing too softly for my liking. But it was a good turnout, lots of food and laughter. But break out into one choreographed `Thriller` dance routine and the crowd goes all apesh!t and tosses you out of the funeral home.
Christmas is just like a day at the office ... You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
Iām not crazy just the voices are!
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.