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Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
I hate the snow so much, I want to build a snowman just so I can punch it in its face.
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
Learn cursive, they said. You`ll need it your whole life, they said.
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?