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It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quit, cause nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, The Darlins, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara. The only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk!
Girls become instant best friends when they find out they hate the same people.
ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
*Food hits floor* Little Germs: “Let’s get it!”King Germ: “No, we must wait 5 seconds!”
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.
I`m so hot I stalk myself ;)
If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.