Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
I saw a lady with twins babies. One had a shirt that said ‘Copy’ the other ‘Paste’. That made my day.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.