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Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
French people give me the crepes.
I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
Well, the people outside are frightful.
Why the hell do we still use snow shovels when flame throwers are available?
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
I was being taught to use some machinery today, and I was quizzed as to the rules of it`s use. When asked what the first rule is I responded, "You do not talk about Fight Club."
I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
Does this floor Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?