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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
My innocent look never works in the nude.
Dear life, I`ve had enough bullsh!t to last a while. Can we take a little break please.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I`m scared that it`s closed.
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.