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You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
I like superheroes but I`d rather hang out with the villains.
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.