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never be afraid to wipe twice
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
OMG! I just discovered that if I align them JUST right, that I can make your boobs stand straight up (just like the broom trick)! Message me for an appointment! ;)
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?