Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
Know why a room full of married people looks so empty? There’s not a Single person in it…
You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
My innocent look never works in the nude.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
I like to go to a strangers house tell them you used to live there and that your grandfather hid money somewhere in the house and just leave.
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.