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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
Don’t underestimate my ability to be hungry.
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
Don’t start an argument with a girl because they have 45030194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 2:27PM on April 23rd 2008.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong