Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
Until today, I thought American Horror Story was a book about marriage.
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
I didn`t see anyone important today so I`m going to wear the same clothes tomorrow.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
Confucius would have been great at Status Updates......
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!