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Put that down you fat piece of sh!t` - the title of the dieting book I`m writing.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
On a scale of 1 to "Get out you`re fired" where does napping at work rank?
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.