Daily Silly Status

It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.

Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!

Tip of the day: When there’s a will…find a way to be in it!

Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?

I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.

All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.

Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.

I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently

Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"

After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.

Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!

I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.

It`s always darkest before the dawn. So if you`re going steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s be the time to do it.

If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."

I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)