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*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
I tried jogging this morning, but the alcohol kept spilling out of my glass, f&ck that.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
Dating Tip: If she hasn`t kissed you by the third date, she`s there for the food.
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.