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They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
I’m quite confident that the reason I’m single is because I didn’t forward that chain letter in 2003.
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
The reason grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are such a great combination is because they are the same basic ingredients as pizza.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.