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I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
When I see someone walking more than one dog I always think, "wow, that person must be really blind."
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it`s the scientists that aren`t washing their hands?
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.