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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
I wish I could veto MY bills.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.