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It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked.
Lucky Charms should be 98% Marshmallows and 2% of that other sh*t.
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
Every pair of panties can be a thong if your a$$ is big enough.