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I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won`t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
I hate it when people exaggerate my mistakes and make it seem like I’ve commited a crime.
Saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Bruce Lee had a kung fu problem, it`s not a problem if you`re good at it.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
I`m never free but I`m available.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
I`m disgusted by the thought of people updating their status while sitting on the toilet like I am right now.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.