Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I put the o in illiterate!
Why would I ever pay to go to a NASCAR event when I could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free?
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I`m gone.
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
There is no time to check time
Good news: I learned how to build a fire. Bad news: I need a new toaster oven.