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It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Do you ever just sit there and think “why am I not rich”?
I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
Went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn`t find any
I hear boomerangs are making a comeback.
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.