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Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
The good thing about "poking" on Facebook, no babies are created.
Anybody know where the cheapest place to buy 12 red roses is?.....just asking for a friend.
That awkward moment when the majority of people think your status is stupid.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.