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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
"We`re pregnant!" -people who don`t understand science
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
When I was your age we had to open all doors by ourselves ... None of them knew we were coming.
The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn`t want you to be happy."
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
It`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes on Facebook.
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.