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Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn`t have done this to me."
Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. OK, fine. A mannequin. But she doesn`t talk much and I like that.
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!