Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ...I sent it anyways.
See, this is why I never like too wake up, it means doing things.
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
Four words that I never want to hear: we`re out of beer
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
We get it poets: things are like other things
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you. Knees to Chest, bitch, KNEES TO CHEST!!
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.