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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
If you are hotter than me, wouldn’t that make me cooler than you.
PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
I got drunk last night and my house wasn`t where I left it.
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
I`d love to have kids one day. Two days, tops.
Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station`s phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
Good news everyone – my proctologist called and all the tests were negative. Bad news - his ring is missing...