Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just made you think of an elephant
I wish some people`s cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
I`m so broke, if somebody tried to rob me right now, they would just be practicing.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
Job interview `What is your biggest weakness?` `Honesty` `I don`t think honesty is a weakness` `I don`t give a flying *#(@ what you think!`
Facebook posts with 12 hashtags, who the f*ck are you trying to reach?
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn’t that funny anyway.
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.