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We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
If u cant live without me, why aren`t you dead yet.
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn`t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking.
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
If you don`t have anything nice to say, put it all on social networks
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
I`d hit that. - women drivers
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.