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Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
Bitch Iām not insulting you, Iām describing you.
pudding... thats always a funny word
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullsh!t I`ll put up with before I catch on.
Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f**k..."
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
I`m 42 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch