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Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
If you scream in a library, people just look at you funny. If you scream on an airplane, everyone joins in.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don`t have to shovel snow this weekend.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
Language is cool because it`s just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.