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Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Often think if I`d taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”
My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.