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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. Iยดd miss you alot and think of you often.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.