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So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
Society has put an unnecessary amount of effort into the advancement of yogurt.
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
A man walks into a bar & orders a beer. He drinks it, looks in his pocket & orders another. This happens 7 more times. Bartender asks, "What`s in your pocket?" Man says, "I have a photo of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I`ll go home."
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
I’ve been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree.
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.