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Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
Married sext: I`m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
If I`m in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet
I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.