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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
only 9530 days until retirement.
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
Every so often I’ll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time, to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
I don`t have a drinking problem, I just celebrate everything! Like the fact that shirts have armholes, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
So much to do and so few alibis.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
Work is one long game of back and forth emails with cleverly disguised f*ck you`s.