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Just once when they interview a serial killer’s neighbor I’d like to hear them say “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he was a real Weirdo”
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of of there would make him gay, haha problem solved ....
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
I`m pretty sure if someone broke into my house, my dog would just show them how much he likes to lick his balls
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
Pulling out a winter coat and going through the pockets to find out who I was 8 months ago.