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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
I enjoy shopping online because at least I don`t have to act all shocked when my credit card gets declined.
I`ve created a shoe made out of Legos, so when you step on Lego it doesn`t hurt. You just get taller.
I am the bestest at the English language...
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
I just read that burglars use Facebook to see when people aren’t home. So from now on, I’m at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
I just did some calculations and I`ve been able to determine that you`re full of sh!t.