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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
Dumped my multiple personality girlfriend yesterday. She took it well, not so well, and she was really upset...
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
Apparently "whiskey and wild women" is not an acceptable answer when asked what your weaknesses are during a job interview.
When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you`ve been doing since you were 15.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.