Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Corduroy boxing gloves deliver the best punchlines.
JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash.
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
The sooner one of you ladies takes ‘one for the team’ and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!