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Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
Why does the girl in the Wendy`s commercials have Ronald McDonalds hair?
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.