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I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
I don’t understand shark movies I mean just get out of the water.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.