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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
Even when I’m home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
Silence is Golden, unless you`re married.. Then Silence is Suspicious.
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.