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My credit rating is so bad I got turned down for a magazine subscription.
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
All my childhood invisible friends are probably doctors and lawyers now.
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
Why is it that when you work very hard, you say you are working like a dog? Every dog I`ve ever known is lazy and sleeps 16 hours a day.
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
People who enjoy life, rarely have a flat stomach.
Whenever I want a klondike bar I just pay for it.
You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.