Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
the dude who posted โ€MERRY CHRISTMASโ€œ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
Silence is Golden, except when coming from childrenโ€ฆ Then youโ€™d better go check to see whatโ€™s broken.
When I say "Itโ€™s a long story" It usually means I just donโ€™t want to tell you it.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, Iยดm becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
People who live in bouncy castles shouldnโ€™t throw darts.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.