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People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn`t work...
I sure did waste a lot of time as a kid practicing my autograph.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
Nothing is truly lost until your mom can`t find it.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.