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You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
Sorry, I can`t delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.
Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.