Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won`t tell you what they`re wearing.
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.