Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
You know vacation should be over when all you do is sit around naked, drinking fruity malt liquor beverages
You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos!
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
wife: It`s ruining date night me: It`s ruining date night because you`re letting it ruin date night hitchhiker: Just drop me off on the corner
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.