Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
Just took a "Try Me" sticker off one of the plush toys at Wal-Mart and stuck it on a condom box.
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
Did you know? If you were to watch all of the Saw films, it would take you 666 minutes?
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
Wait, carjacking doesn`t mean masturbating in my vehicle? Then no, I didn`t get arrested for carjacking.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.