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“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
I want to take this moment to thank the depends adult diaper company for allowing me to play my video game for a strait 8 hours uninterupted...
If someone toilet papered my house that would be great because I`m out of toilet paper.