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Beer is good, but beers are better.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
You know you are paranoid when you think this joke is about you.
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
FACT: There’s always room for another cupcake.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie
Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don`t have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point
I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"