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That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
If a 747 can carry a f*cking space shuttle on its back, I’m calling bullsh!t on an overweight baggage charge.
Sometimes at the gym I`ll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I`ll get my shorts on.
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
It´s never to late to be happy
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-