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Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
It`s possible you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn`t believe in reincarnation either".
Youth is wasted on the young.
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.