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Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
I can`t be trusted with your alphabet magnets.
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
Finally down to my pre-pregnancy/pre-kids weight...well...before my wife had kids I mean.
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It`s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)