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Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere.
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That`s why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson.
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
Very little scares me. So does very big.
Word for today: Dipshidiot
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"